AAPHA BANANA CHHAHTA HAU.

TUMHARE DIL ME MAIN,

GHAR BASANA CHHATAHAU

TUMHE CHHAHANE WALE TOO,

HAZORO HONGE,

HAR GAIL, HAR MOD PAR,

TUMHARA INTAZAR KARNE WALE,

BAHOOT HONGE,

HAR RASTE KI NUKKAD PAR,

MAIN TUMHARE DIL MAIN RAHEKAR,

TUMHARE RUH TAK

JAANA CHHAHTAHU

MARI YE ZINDIGI AAB,

TUMHARE HAAT MAIN HAI,

AAB MAI DEKHONGA,

TUM USSI NUKKAD PAR

JAANA CHHAHATI HOO YA,

MERI RUH TAK - JOO MAINE

TUMHARE LIYE RAKHHI HAI.

Reva Seth, attorney and journalist whose work has appeared in major Canadian newspapers including The Globe and Mail, has been intrigued by arranged marriages since her childhood in a New Jersey town. "I was the only Indian girl in a school in Madison," she says. "Whenever people heard that my parents had an arranged marriage they would wince or think all kinds of things," Seth, the author of the recently published book First Comes Marriage, says. "Some people thought my mother, who in fact is a very well read and modern woman, is someone very primitive."

Seth's book offers what she calls modern relationship advice from the wisdom of arranged marriages.

Secret # 1, she notes, is that your husband doesn't have to be your best friend. "That is why you've had a best girl friend, all along," she says. Another secret for a successful relationship: It doesn't matter if he doesn't dance. "Common interests are less important than shared values,' she asserts. And remember, she says, sexual chemistry is not always organic. "Attraction can be created," she adds, "if you know how to unlock your passion."

Arranged marriage is not an alien concept in America or Canada, she says. At least the Jewish communities have known arranged marriages till the other day.

With the Internet, Seth says, a new kind of arranged marriage is emerging in America and many other countries. "There is so much of third party intervention, with friends and relatives, if not parents, interfering and helping a young woman or a man make up their mind," she says.

Reva Seth has been married for about five years and lives with her husband and two year old son in Toronto. She spoke to rediff India Abroad's Arthur J Pais.

Why did you write this book?

Certainly not to show that love marriages do not work. I do know that many love marriages work very well. But there is also this wonderful institution of arranged marriage -- I certainly do not mean the kind of very old-fashioned arranged marriage in which the bride and bridegroom meet for the first time on their wedding day. I am talking about arranged marriages that call for intervention by parents and relatives. A marriage in which a man and a woman meet and get to know each other before they marry, at the instigation of their parents, relatives or friends. I am offering a practical and progressive guide to love and romance. The book also talks about various factors including adultery and adultery of the mind (which seems harmless) that can mar any relationship.

What can arranged marriages teach a modern woman or a man about love, dating and romance?

Lots! Aside from the seven big lessons that I discuss in my book, as an approach arranged marriages have a great deal to teach us. For instance as a society when it comes to love, we rarely think ahead. As a general rule, we are not trained to think about how feelings will change or evolve three or 30 years into the future. We are not taught to consider what we might expect and want from our partners and relationships, after the initial flush of infatuation wears away or as we age or have children. This is one of the reasons that arranged marriages are such a valuable model: they have evolved specifically with these questions and concerns in mind.

What are some of the advantages an arranged marriage has over a love marriage?

Reasonable expectations! Women in arranged marriages have a real understanding of the idea that husbands are life partners and not lifesavers.

On the other hand...

In contrast I think most of us don't even realise how much we expect from our partners and our relationships. And while having high expectations are good -- unrealistic ones are not! All that happens is that if we're single we become frustrated by the men we meet and if we're in a relationship, we become resentful when our real life partners can't live up to the fantasy man in our head!

Apne pyar ko chupana chaha par chupa na sake,
diwane dil pe kabu hum pa na sake,
aaj itne karib se gujar gaye wo,
phir bhi unka hath hum tham na sake

Woh Keh Gaye Ki Mera Intezaar Mat Karna,
Main Kahu Bhi To Muj Pe Aitbaar Mat Karna,
Wo Kehte hai Ke Mujhe Tumse Mohabaat Nahi,
Par Tum Kisi Aur Se Pyaar Mat Karna ..!!!

Regards,

Bhagwant

aab hamari aadatsi ho gaye hai

teri zindigimain lout aana

aab hamari

ruswai ho gaye hai !!

Joo kuch de rahe hoo , liya jar aha hoon ||

Tumhi se chala karti prano ki dhadkan |

Tumhi se sachatan ahankar tan man ||

Tumhi se yah darshan kiye jar aha hoon |

Asatya ke sada ashraya hoo tumhe sat ||

Pilate hoo jo kuch piye jaa raha hoon |

Jaha bhi rahu dhyan main tum ko dakhu ||

Pathik main yah arji diye ja raha hoon |

1. Nothing succeeds like success.
2. Your success will depend on you attitude towards life.
3. The secret of success is constancy of purpose.
4. Success comes when preparation meets opportunity.
5. Success requires hard workm training and discipline, if you can cope with these, opportunities are everywhere.
6. Search for better ways to do things and you will find success.
7. Be what you are and become what you are capable of becoming. Take charge of your life become the person you would like to be.

Achievement

1. One of the great pleasures of life is doing the things that others say you can't do.
2. If your goals are realistic, you can achieve anything.
3. You don't know what you can do until you try.
4. You can achieve anything you want - if you help enough people get what they want.
5. Only the first steps to achieve something are difficult the planning, the getting started.
6. People will remember what you achieve not what you promised to achieve.
7. Try to make every day a day of achievement. What did you do yesterday that was worth remembering today.

Regards,

Bhagwant

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND: "oh shit"

REAL FRIEND TEST!

This is GOOD...I expect it back too!
I especially like the last sentence!!!! !!

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself
and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your
'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend shoulder is soggy from your tears..

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and
stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after
they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when
you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.


A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

A simple friend reads this e-mail and deletes it.
A real friend passes it on and sends it back to you!